would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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