btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
