We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
