my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
