is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
