After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
