It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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