I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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