Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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