No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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