okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
