Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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