toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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