I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
