This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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