The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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