He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
