So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
