We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
