I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
