im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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