It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
