She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
