Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
