and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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