Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
pray to the hookup gods
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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