I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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