I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
