know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
