He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
