what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
