do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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