I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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