i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
