she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
