I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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