i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
