my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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