So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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