i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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