For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
