I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's official drugs can't kill me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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