he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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