It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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