stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my shit smells like andre
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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