Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't deserve a penis
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
