is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
