some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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