K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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