i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
