I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
