it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
